|Arsenic Lobster poetry journal
|Issue Forty-one Summer 2016
FW: FW: RE: FW: THIS INTRODUCTION HAS BEEN CURSED
~ a case study
ONCE YOU READ THIS YOU MUST REPOST IT OR YOU WILL SUFFER
You are now cursed by a very ancient curse. You must share a link to this on ALL of your social media accounts or you will be killed tonight at 12:00 a.m., by Bloody Mary. This is no joke. So don’t think you can quickly get out of it and close the browser. Bloody Mary will come for you if you don’t post a link. She will harm you in unspeakable ways—worse than a mere decapitation by fingernail. She will stalk all your social media accounts and then. She will hang you in your bedroom closet or stuff you under the bed. What’s your family going to do when they find you dead or maimed? Won’t be funny then, will it? Don’t think this is a fake and it’s all put on to scare you because you’re wrong, so very, very wrong. Want to hear some of the sad, sad people who lost their lives or have been seriously hurt by this poetry intro?
Meghan Tutolo: She read this intro. She thought it was rubbish. Yet, she recently confessed, Once, I didn’t drown in a lake. —But she almost did.
Laura Cesarco Eglin: She only posted a link to this intro on ONE social media account. Now, she is lost, her first game of hide-and-seek gone wrong. Terribly wrong.
Sarah Carey: She reposted multiple times on all of her social media accounts and recently proclaimed, I count myself blessed! Red clover has been ruled out as a cure for hot flashes. Something wonderful could happen to you, too!
Stephanie Lane Sutton: She posted this to only a few of her accounts. Big mistake. She told everyone about the nightmares. My friend and I were trapped underground on the train.
Lorcán Black: He posted once to FIVE of his social media accounts. Terrible, terrible mistake. That night, Lorcán was lying in his bed watching T.V. The clock shows ‘12:01 a.m.’ The T.V mysteriously flickered off and Lorcán’s bedroom lamp flashed on and off several times. It went pitch black. Lorcán looked to the left and there she was—Bloody Mary standing in white rags, the dark mirror reflecting nothing. Blood everywhere with a knife in her hand, then she disappeared. The biggest fright of his life.
Graham Coppin: He read this intro and rolled his eyes the entire time. Now, they’ll place him in a box—pine, the cheapest—and slide him quietly into the fire.
Lydia Armstrong: She glanced only once at this intro without reading a word at all. Now, she is hiding her household scissors in case courage comes in her sleep.
Wuff Losee: He knew someone who read to the second case and thought the whole thing rubbish. Boy! He should have unfriended that person. He just started using the phrase—you are dead now, go to the farthest light— in casual conversation.
Jessica L. Walsh: She read this whole introduction on her iPad while camping and wasn’t able to post a single link by midnight, not only did her battery die, but that morning, her campmates discovered that she had turned into a beast. Jessica drank at the rotten spring. She was spotted gurgling from the slaggy cliff.
Alice in Lobsterland by Kelsey Dean
About the Artist
Jessie Janeshek: She might be the most interesting case. She posted the necessary number of times to the necessary number of social media accounts. Still, don’t trust her. She wouldn’t leave you one crippled truth.
Matt Nagin: He doesn’t even know this introduction exists. Yet, he has been marking the minutes until the apocalypse.
Simon Perchik: He doesn’t have any social media accounts. True story. And though it’s dark, these dead still remember how every stone smells from dirt.
Warning… NEVER look in a mirror and repeat —“Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary… I KILLED YOUR SON” It is the end for you tonight! YOU ARE NOW CURSED WITH A VERY ANCIENT CURSE!
We strongly advise you to post a link to this on all of your social media accounts. It is seriously NO JOKE. We don’t want to see another life wasted. IT’S YOUR CHOICE…
Editor & Publisher, Arsenic Lobster Poetry Journal