Arsenic Lobster poetry journal Issue Thirty-five
Summer 2014
The Day is Elegy of Shoe Knots
Heather Bell

The day is elegy of shoe knots,

black bathrobe, children’s white

diapers. And how it is supposed to be:

NYC, writing books after books,
paying the bills as a self important

obituary editor. Men

at my feet. And the bodies

I curl into my hair like
a flowered crown and the books and

the books and the destruction,

swollen eyelids,
weird diseases caught and
released. I’m 30,

this is not the life I was supposed to have.

There is a center
to every person, the place where

they keep their secrets and I

have there a series of illiterate
conversations with
my family, days where I

make the bed
over and over and over

as if to say

it will never be smooth enough,
and the edges don’t line

up. Because we can never say we

regret comfort or love and

sadness is a place that feels far away

but you’re building a boat of
soiled clothing, sail to the box fan breeze,

in order to get there.

About Heather Bell

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